+**|unwritten|thots|**+: May 2005

me at home... **winkz**

play play play playthat song in my head

the song keeps playin... the steps r running... aarrggghhh!! rehearsals have been crazy... but i'm enjoying evry minute of it i swear... even bein an understudy is fun!!! it realli is... gonna teach tmr so will be missing my whole slot of rehearsals... **damn** but i miss my kids... not gonna c most of them during the june hols... **sobz** well its nitey nite for me nowsiez...

^ NO LOVE ^ NOT LOVED ^

dearest u... u noe who u r....

my foundation was rocked
my tried and true way to deal was to vanish
my departures were old
I stood in the room shaking in my boots
at that particular time love had challenged me to stay
at that particular moment I knew not run away again
that particular month I was ready to investigate with you

at that particular time

we thought a break would be good for four months we sat and vacillated
we thought a small time apart would clear up the doubts that were abounding
at that particular time love encouraged me to wait
at that particular moment it helped me to be patient
that particular month we needed time to marinate in what us meant

I've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself
and yet I wanted to save us high water or hell
and I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt and in the meantime I lost myself
in the meantime I lost myself
I'm sorry I lost myself.
i am

you knew you needed more time
time spent alone with no distraction
you felt you needed to fly solo and high to define what you wanted
at that particular time love encouraged me to (want to)leave
at that particular moment I knew staying with you meant deserting me
that particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left (haven't yet but i might)

at that particular time